shook one

watched bruno with justin and we went to panera bread. was late 10 minutes for work, but it's whatever. he is so awesome and unfortunately i found out during work that he in fact has a girlfriend. what the fuck. story of my life. so work pretty much was horrible and people wouldn't get out of the store. i fucking hate it there now. i rode bikes with will and josh to shelby park and we met colby. will and colby wanted to ride hella fast so josh and i were just relaxing on our bike ride, went to the bridge that i am so fucking in love with and rode back. then got weird social anxiety at their place. it's not anxiety though, i don't know what to call it. i guess i am just sick of everybody and have no desire to be social whatsoever unless i actually like you. josh and i are talking a lot so i am stoked that we are better friends, he is a smart guy. i don't know why, i'm just really bummed out and as usual am back to the knowledge that i am alone. no best friend, just people that come in and out of my life. fuck it.

wow, i miss the webpage days. i can't believe how much of a nerd i was. so many internet friends so little time.

ugh...i'm so hyper right now. i'm like, moshing around my room. i'm anticipating the four year strong cover album. pop punk makes me so happy fuck. my feet smell horrible. hopefully getting my nose pierced tomorrow after work. if not then, real soon. going to knoxville on monday. also getting a drum lesson on sunday from my friend shon. he's been playing his whole life. hopefully it'll be pretty fun. i am in an awesome mood right now. bummer that it's 4 am and i am jumping around like it's 4 pm.

made me tear up.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WIN

pumped for july

moving on

also why the fuck are so many celebrities dying?! it's beginning to freak me out.

successful bike ride to rocketown today and back with colby. i fell off once though and i now have one of the worst battle scars ever on the back of my calf. it was so good, but i'm a wimp when it comes to riding up hills. hopefully i'll get over that when i ride more. that's what she said. (my mind is plagued) also i have become the worst person at getting people gifts for birthdays and even remembering them. i sort of stopped caring that much about my own so i guess that went hand in hand with everyone else's. i haven't gotten title fight out of my head yet.

tonight was insane good. matt lovell and i drove to louisville for title fight and got fucked on by mapquest. we ended up driving around an extra three hours because that place was unbelievably confusing. we asked so many people and finally got help from the kindest people ever that let us follow them to the venue. so stoked for them. we both got sunburnt from driving with a top down for about 7 hours. with no air...back sweat galore. i got in free to the show and they played such a fucking good set. it was well worth all of the stress from driving because it was so energetic and nothing gets me the way a pop punk show does. their vocals were almost not even there but i didn't even care. it was shorter than expected considering they were headlining but for some reason a band played after them. it rules because they're so young, my age and they get to do things like sound and fury. i can't get over how good they are.

i think it's kind of funny and also disappointing that people seem to think i am a negative person. i'll give them that for a while i have been. apathy and emptiness have crawled into me somehow over the course of maybe even the past year, and i hated every minute of it. i make it a point though to try to overcome the negative thoughts that encompass my head. i'm really sarcastic but i always have been and i do have a habit of saying that i hate everybody and everything and phrases along those lines, but i never thought people actually took it seriously. i mean, yeah i will say that i pretty much do hate most people. i don't know, it just sucks because one of the things i really only want in life is to leave a positive influence on everyone i know and to lead a life free of hate and anger. it is easy to get wrapped up in those things when all you can seem to be able to focus on are the shitty things. which i will say is really easy because there is so much of it, and it actually takes effort to see through all of it. just stay posi ;)

tonight at rocketown i jumped off of a merch table and the back of my short pocket caught it, and ripped my entire back pocket off while i was hanging from it for a few seconds. a few dudes got to see the goodies/my blue plaid underwear. i had to get ricki to staple it back on. it was the best. i also got jolly rancher beverages tonight and i couldn't be more stoked.

i am tired of wasting away. i say this as i am about to click play on world of warcraft.

i plan on going the rest of my life free of drinking and smoking and i'm still psyched about it.

Come and save me from inside my head.

hopefully the shirt i just bought online will come in soon along with the recluse preorder that i payed for in april and the disaster shirt sometime before i rot too.

True love was just a marketed ploy, so guys can hit their lines and girls can grab their boys

today was a good day. hung out with autumn at cici's and movies in the park for bill and ted. ran into my brother lolz and i got to see eric. my mental health is doing better. i'm baking brownies at 3 am and listening to title fight. a lot of people are really upsetting. i just need to remember some people continue to go through phases at all ages of their life. that barely backs it up though.

i'm scared.